Honey, Baby, Sweetheart
by I'veGotAnotherConfessionToMake
Summary: He was her Honey She was his Baby Together they were the Sweethearts of a fairy tale.


Right away, I knew that he was bad. And right after that I came to the conclusion that it just didn't matter. I didn't care that by merely being in his presence I was risking all the good things I had strived for. I didn't care that maybe, just maybe, my Quiet-Girl, Bookworm image would be shattered with a single brush of the lips.

It was the unknown element of surprise that he carried around with him. It was the way that he acknowledged _me_ in a sea of voluptuous, far easier women than myself.

I Enjoy the Challenge, he had said; he smiled; I swooned.

But what made me even more scared was what I, myself, was capable of, besides the fact that I had fallen for the enemy. It was that I would do anything for him. When he asked me to steal potion ingredients from the Potion Master's private stores, I did. My conscience yelled at me as I did so, and screamed to beg for forgiveness when I took extra, Just In Case.

Who was I and who had I become? The real me would never have even considered saying yes to breaking in and stealing someone else's property. But the new me did. I didn't even know that she had existed.

Inside my heart, I knew why I did it. He paid attention to me in ways that no one else ever had. He needed me in a sense other than homework help, and that made me _feel_ like I was loved. Even though it was stupid to think, to even consider, I knew that I was irrevocably in love with him. Willingly I gave him my greatest asset, and willingly he took it, cradling it in his pale hands before placing it in a velvet lined box.

I felt a little like Snow White or Cinderella, or maybe it was a combination of both. My heart was guarded in a box while I went about doing all his dirty work without complaint. I was happy; I was in love; I was needed; I wasn't loved in return, not like I so desperately desired.

I found out later it was the image of me, the goodness in a world of evil that had allured me to him. I was the Untouchable, the guarded princess in her tower. If only I had never let my hair down and allowed him to climb the thick tresses to my prison, to love me and steal my heart away, then I wouldn't be like I am now.

Have you ever been used? Have you ever found out in the worst possible way? I have…

The day that I found out started out as the best day of my life. The night before had ended with sweet-nothings being whispered in my ear accompanied by hushed kisses and thoughts so cheek-reddening that to write it out would be just as embarrassing. To put it short, I lost my virginity.

A new batch of snow had just fallen, but I, of course, hadn't minded. It was warm in his arms so close to his cold heart. The other boys in the dorm next to the Head dorm, where we were, started to Rise and Shine, but he didn't. He held me and told me to skive off classes, to spend the day wrapped up in his arms. It was something foreign to me; it was something I had never done even when incredibly sick. Because he told me to, I did it. He called me Honey; I called him Baby; together we were the Sweetheart lovers that should have been someone else. Someone who could love another and have their feelings reciprocated in the same exact way. Someone who deserved it. Someone other than me.

My mother had always told me to love with my whole heart, whenever the time arose. She said that hurt comes easy, no matter how often, but love is always there, you just have to believe in it, will it to come and it will. Oh, how I so desperately wanted to believe her.

I wanted to be able to love him in public, to come out in the open and not have to meet in secret places all the time. He said that it was the worst idea he had ever heard.

Why? I'd asked, wrapped up in his emerald duvet.

Because No One Would Accept Us, his face was angry as he said this. He ran a hand through his tousled hair and lay back on the bed staring up at the stone ceiling.

I tried not to agree as I lay my hand on his chest and curled up next to his warm body. I felt cold. He pushed me away.

I Think You Should Leave, he said roughly sitting up.

Surprised, I didn't argue. I just got up; I got dressed; I left.

Maybe there was something bigger going on inside of him that he couldn't tell me. It was a thought I entertained for the better part of an extremely long day. I didn't go to classes; I didn't even go to lunch. Instead I spent it in the library in one of the nooks hidden by a set of shelves.

My friends found me and questioned me about why I was acting different lately, where had I been? I told them a made up story. One to feed to appetite, but not really satisfy them.

And then it happened.

Now, as I look back, I think on it, and it seems planned, staged for someone besides myself to hear. I remember my anger, my hurt, and my resentment. I had fallen privy to his trap, God; I had literally dove head first into it! It was my fault that I had even heard it! If I hadn't gone deep into the stacks to find some long lost tome for class, I wouldn't have stumbled upon them. I would never had heard all his lies and deceit.

It was dinner; the library was mostly deserted but for the me and a few others. I sat at my table in the back, alone, as usual and copied an essay for history. Rubbing my eyes, I had stood and disappeared into the stacks bypassing couples and singles looking to be couples into a dusty section where no one really goes. The stacks were known for being the place where one could have a sexual affair and never worry about their boyfriend/girlfriend finding out. It was also a place for secret meetings.

My heart beat fast and my stomach curled and twisted in many knots and weaves, but still I pressed on. I kept going deeper and deeper till the only thing lighting my path were the torches hanging from the low ceiling and my wand tip.

Where Have You Been, Mate? Was the first voice I heard.

I extinguished my wand and listened. I knew that I shouldn't have, that I would virtually end up regretting it, but I did anyway. My curiosity was always high, and I knew I could never rest until I heard all of the conversation.

In Hell, replied the second. I knew that voice; it was his voice.

Did You Nail Her? The first voice asked.

Yeah, he, my love, said, his voice cruel and cold, like it had been before. More Than Once.

I felt my blood run could as the first laughed and then so did my love. And then he said something that took me completely by surprise.

Where's the Money You Owe Me?

There was a sigh and some coins being moved in a pocket and then deposited into a hand.

It Better Have Been the Best Damn Sex of Your Life!

I Wouldn't Exactly Say That… they laughed some more.

I felt like crying.

I could hear him counting the money as the first left, saying a short goodbye and heading out of the stacks past my hiding spot. He didn't even notice me.

And then _he_ came out. I couldn't explain my anger. My blood boiled in my veins and my ears felt hot and steamy from all the fuming I was doing. He walked around the corner as I stepped out, my arms crossed over my chest.

A Bet? I said, my voice low, deathly.

He stopped, his face paling considerably, which was a feat all in itself. He quickly pocketed the money, but not before I noticed the great wealth of it. The tears burned at the back of my eyes. I could feel one trying to escape, but I blinked furiously, willing it back.

It's Not Like That, Baby.

I Am Not Your Baby! I'm Not _Your_ Anything!

I was near hysterics. I had given away my most special present, thinking that he was The One. He was nothing. He had taken my given heart and put it in the blender, watching and laughing as I died a slow, painful death.

Listen- he tried.

I Already Heard, I said quickly. Don't Even Bother!

That day I left him. I thought I had ended it, broke off all the ties, but they followed behind me like the cans muggles put on the back of their wedding cars. They were loud and obvious.

♥

He tried to talk to me for the rest of the year. He wouldn't let it go. At first he cornered me in private places, somewhere where no one would see us together. I began to only go to the bathroom in passing periods and in the Tower. I wouldn't give him the time to corner me and force me to talk to him. I had nothing to say. Nothing to hear, especially from him.

And with time, it all began to stop. He slowly but surely got the hints and dated another, as did I. He always watched me though; he was always there if something happened, as much as I hated to recognize it.

He still loved me.

♥

After graduation I had married one of my friends, not my best friends, but someone who was there and didn't know too much about me. It was safe that way. We didn't have any children, and in the war, he died. I didn't grieve; I didn't need to. It had been a clean break. There was nothing left to remind me of my husband, nothing but a ring and a house, both of which I sold when the war was over. I moved from the hustle and bustle of London to Surrey.

That was the first and the last time that I saw Him.

He was window shopping, by himself and headed directly for me.

Like in one of those times when you see someone you don't want to and pause, your body frozen, your breath caught in you throat, is when it all happens. He looked away from a window and straight at me. We shared a moment. And then he came towards me. He took my face in his cold, cold, pale hands and stroked my warm cheek. I let him. without really noticing, I had begun to cry, he pulled me into a warm embrace and squeezed my small frame to his own larger one.

Oh, Baby. I Can Explain!

His voice cracked. I felt the wetness on my hair before I realized he too was crying. I placed my fingers over his lips, my head still resting on his chest. Don't, I whispered. Not Now, I added. My heart soared. I knew that it was all real. Everything that I had tried to forget, everything I had searched for in my now dead husband I saw had been inside Him the whole time.

I smiled slightly before saying, Honey. The name rolled off my tongue easily. Like I was used to saying it.

He pulled away from me, his grey eyes boring into my own. He touched my bottom lip and kissed me softly. My knees buckled, my heart skipped a beat. My old love came back into my heart like it hadn't ever left.

Sweetheart, he whispered into my mouth as he backed away slightly. I smiled as he leaned in and kissed me again. My Honey, My Baby, My Sweetheart.


End file.
